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(no subject) [Mar. 7th, 2005|02:09 am]
I ploughed the land with horses,
But my heart was ill at ease,
For the old sea-faring men
Came to me now and then,
With their sagas of the seas.

Wadsworth my man, tell me about it. I am dying to get out of here. I really need to go somewhere, anywhere. We watched Motorcycle Diaries last night -- very good movie, but it made me want to get out right then so bad it was infuriating that i just went home. It's like an itch that needs to be scratched really badly and to be honest, I don't think Europe's going to cover it.
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The Tsunami [Jan. 1st, 2005|02:04 am]
It didn't really hit me until today just how bad the situation is in Asia right now. When I first heard about it, the death toll was at about 14,000. That certainly worried me, but it didn't seem out of the ordinary for some reason. Except for the word Tsunami; I don't remember ever hearing of a Tsunami occuring before. But then the death tolls rose, and kept rising, and now that it is at around 120,000 I am in a state of shock. It is a rare event that casues the problems of others, especially those so far away, to affect those of us here emotionally. But this is certainly such an event.
At times like these, it seems that our life is that much more pathetic and irrelevant. To think that a few days ago the only things I cared about were if I would go to college or not and what I was doing for new years. The modernizing of our world is partly to blame. We have become so focused on the incidentals that we forget what actually matters. We go through life hunched over, with our heads down and eyes focused straight ahead because g-d forbid we should have to make eye contact with another human being. But then sometimes we do glance up. Sometimes something happens that shocks us enough that we actually look up and into the faces of the billions of other beings that inhabit this tiny planet. On December twenty-sixth, there was an earthquake of such magnitude that the earth actually shuddered on its axis. For a second, it stood still -- as if to maintain a moment of silence for the many thousands that would die that day. Did you feel it? I would like to think that most people did. That for just a second the better part of humanity was united in a feeling of helplessness. In the entire spectrum of human emotion, helplessness is easily the cruelest of emotions. Reaching depths that guilt, shame, anger and despair cannot dream of penetrating, helplessness is worse than the feeling that you have done something wrong, because it is the feeling that it is impossible for you to do what's right. For a brief period, you live in a world that is utterly devoid of hope. The only thing that can come close to match that feeling is the knowledge that in a couple of days everything will go back to normal. I cannot stand that idea. It is like I am now an entirely different person, desperately fighting to stay alive rather than morph back into my old irrelevant self. The idea that we will all settle back into our little paths and resume our sad, little existences is almost too much to bear.
So I guess my new years resolution will be to remember what it feels like to be helpless, to recall to the best of my ability exactly what happens when everyone stops moving for a minute and looks around at the people in the seat next to them, so that the next time I feel like the little things that I've put so much emphasis on in my life aren't that important, I'll realize -- I'm right.
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(no subject) [Dec. 3rd, 2004|04:34 am]
[mood |quiet contemplation]
[music |Bob Dylan - Blood on the Tracks]

Today was depressing. Not because of anything specific that happened, but because it is thursday. It is thursday and I did not take off school. Now granted, when it was designed there was no intention of implementing it every thursday; it was always a once every three weeks or once every month kind of thing. But even knowing this, I couldn't help but feel that pang of dissapointment, when instead of physics lab day -- I would have been eating at the carnegie deli, instead of calc. -- I would have been watching kung fu on this crazy chinatown bus, instead of a day of school -- I would have been having the time of life in nyc. But no, that must be saved for another thursday (best estimates put it at two weeks from now). If for no other reason that to stave off poverty.

I am bordering on broke because I have two concerts in the next two weeks, both on fridays. Which means that I both a) have to spend money for the concerts and b) cannot work on those days when they are happening. Together, that means I will not have any money. And as Woody Allen said, "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."

I have been on a big Woody Allen fix lately, I am completely obsessed. I just really love his movies. I think he is fast becoming my favorite writer/director. He is just an insanely funny guy. And not funny like disgusting funny or idiotic funny as has been the recent trend which such disgraces like anchorman, dodgeball or white chicks. He is funny in a way that doesn't make you lower your intelligence or self-worth by laughing. Not to mention he pretty much embodies my goal in life (except for the marrying his step-daughter). Well maybe Cameron Crowe's life would be cooler, but it's too late for that now anyway. I've also declared my favorite Woody Allen movie to be Love and Death, though Annie Hall and Manhattan are very close seconds.

alright, that's enough for now, I leave you, of course, with another Woody Allen quote.

"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?"
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Shibboleth [Nov. 10th, 2004|04:59 am]
Finally my amazon.com package has arrived. Its contents, because I know you're curious are the following:
-A Few Figs from Thistles - Edna St. Vincent Millay
-The Filmmaker's Handbook - Steven Ascher and Edward Pincus

-The Red Balloon
-Risky Business
-American Beauty
-Silence of the Lambs
-The 25th Hour
-The Great Escape

Strangley no real books or cds. I didn't realize that until afterwords. It is pretty weird though.

Alright, so stolen from allison's journal (since she has repeatedly asked me to update this) specifically because I thought it was interesting that one of the questions was 'have you set yourself on fire?' Here goes:

(x) - you've done
(_) - you haven't done

(x) been drunk
(_) been high
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(_) kissed a member of the same sex
(_) crashed a friend's car
(_) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x) been dumped
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of my parent's house
(_) ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
(_) ever dated someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
(_) been arrested
(_) made out with a stranger
(_) stole something from my job
(_) celebrated new years in time square
(/) gone on a blind date
(_) had a crush on a teacher
(_) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(x) been to Europe
(x) skipped school
(/) cut myself on purpose (I didn't cut myself so much as purposely wack a locker while my spanish teacher was looking so I could get out of class to "go to the nurse" -- one bruise, well worth it.
(_) been married
(_) gotten divorced
(_) had children
(x) seen someone die.
(_) been to Africa.
(x) Punched a friend when playing around
(x) Been to Canada
(x) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(_) Thrown up in a bar
(x) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) Eaten Sushi
(x) Been Snowboarding
(_) Met someone in person from the internet -- I don't talk to people I don't know on the internet
(x) Been moshing at a concert -- I would never refer to it as moshing though
(_) had real feelings for someone you knew only online - refer to previous
(_) gone to college
(_) taken painkillers -- if advil and tylenol counts
(x) love someone or miss someone right now

There are definately a few of those I will have to do at some point.
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(no subject) [Nov. 4th, 2004|06:38 am]
Well Bush won. That leaves the intelligent citizen with only one recourse ... Canada. I'll see you in Canada, if not, then in Iraq in three years.
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magnification [Oct. 9th, 2004|08:43 am]
So on my day off (see previous entry) I got glasses. It is weird, but fortunately I only really need them for physics and maybe night driving, so most of my day is unchanged. In case you're curious, here is ...

me without glasses

me with glasses

for the purposes of a side by side comparison. They seem to work pretty well so all is good.

Also, my parents left for Israel today. They come back friday. I am kind of worried. Originally I was supposed to go with them, but then I backed out citing work. In actuality I just wanted the open house so I could have some friends over, but the work was definately a factor in my decision. Anyway, now that they have gone it struck me just how dangerous it is there, and while that wouldn't bother me if I were there, it does bother me that my family is. I guess I will just hope for the best.

"I can see clearly now,
the red is gone."
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This is me trying to avoid writing college essays [Oct. 7th, 2004|08:55 am]
[mood |sicksick]
[music |hey bulldog - beatles]

So I stayed home today due to a combination of sickness and a lack of college essays. Today, I play to write all my college essays for Brown, master my newly acquired digital camera (pictures soon to follow if I can figure out how to upload pictures into the computer, and then how to get them online), hang the posters that have been lying around for months waiting to be hanged in my room and do my chapter five notes for usgov.

slowly easing back into livejournaling,

"It is better to rule in hell than to serve in heaven" - Milton; keep this in mind while applying to colleges.
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stalling before going out to lunch [Aug. 24th, 2004|01:17 am]
If I were a month, I'd be: January
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Saturday
If I were a time of day, I'd be: 2:00am
If I were a planet, I'd be: Mars
If I were a sea animal, I'd be a: Walrus
If I were a direction, I'd be: East
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be a: Lazyboy reclining chair
If I were a sin, I'd be: Sloth

If I were a historical figure, I'd be: Napolean
If I were a liquid, I'd be: Tequila
If I were a tree, I'd be an: Umbrella tree (like the one in my front yard)
If I were a bird, I'd be a: Mockingbird (mock yah, ing yah, bird yah, etc...)
If I were a tool, I'd be a: corkscrew (no alcoholic connotation, i just like it)
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be a: Carrot (it's a plant)
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: 72 degrees, with a nice wind (pleasantville temp.)
If I were a mythical creature, I'd be a: Werewolf of London
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be a: Guitar
If I were an animal, I'd be a: Wallabee
If I were a color, I'd be: Orange
If I were an emotion, I'd be: Curious
If I were a vegetable, I'd be a: Carrot ... again. (they're orange, how can you go wrong)
If I were a sound, I'd be: The sound of the wheel on those old gameshows
If I were an element: Helium
If I were a car, I'd be a: Chrysler Cirrus
If I were a song, I'd be: "My Generation" by the Who (way too difficult a question though)
If I were a movie, I'd be: Napolean Dynamite, just kidding, Oceans Eleven
If I were a book, I'd be: A Prayer for Owen Meany
If I were a fruit, I'd be a: Kiwi
If I were a place, I'd be: New Zealand or Paris
If I were a material, I'd be: Leather
If I were a taste, I'd be: Canteloupe
If I were a scent, I'd be: The smell of Pickles, I don't eat them but the smell is awesome
If I were a religion, I'd be: Judaism (oh yeah)

If I were a word, I'd be: Flabbergasted
If I were an object, I'd be a: My B.B. King t-shirt
If I were a body part, I'd be: A Belly Button
If I were a subject in school, I'd be: Lit and Film
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: A Poker Face
If I were a manga/cartoon/anime/book/etc.. character, I'd be: also way too difficult, but I'll say, Arnold from Hey Arnold
If I were a shape, I'd be an: Octagon
If I were a number, I'd be: 4
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damn the man [Aug. 15th, 2004|03:07 pm]
Damn the Man
Save the Empire

my personal motto has been reinforced as tonight I have, yet again, been pestered by tredyfferin cops. Do I have a sign on my back of something that says, "I am a juvenille delinquent, please harass me." Me and a few people were hanging around, blowing up melons and the like when some lady in a minivan passes (and keep in mind this is around two in the morning and we are in the back of the gateway parking lot -- the part where trucks go for deliveries) and of course, she calls the cops. So we scatter and four of us end up down the street in my car, while one is hiding back in the parking lot. So the cop comes along and asks why we're in the car and stuff at this time of night. We say we were trying to get gas but didn't know where there was a gas station that was open this time of night. He didn't believe us at first but I think he came around. So then he went into gateway parking lot and found my friend. He then proceeded to drive to the gas station we went to (had to, he was looking our way) and asked us some questions about what we were actually doing. Given some hints from my friend who was brought from the lot, we managed to tell roughly similar stories. So eventually he just let us go and told us to go home. That's about the ninth time I have been bothered by a cop at night in the past year or two. Oh by the way, the cop (predictably) mentioned the possibility of taking us in and having to call our parents. It then occured to me that I wouldn't really care. I'd sneak out anyway, there would be some annoyances, but in the end, it wouldn't really matter much. Besides, I'm kind of tempted to get arrested before I turn 18 and thus, can no longer get it washed away. Also I got a chance to use my senior license on the first day of my owning it (showing it to the cop), so that's kind of nice. It really makes a difference when you actually get to use something like that since I've been going around without it for so long and never been caught, then the one day I need it -- it's there.

I also got my school schedule today. Looks like it'll be a decent year. I ratemyteacher.com'd all the teachers I didn't know and they all seem to be pretty good except mrs. briar.

Anyway, it's now about 3:15, so I think I'm going to crash.
If only I were at the big rock candy mountain, where all the cops have wooden legs.
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friday the 13th [Aug. 14th, 2004|11:23 am]
today is friday the 13th, the unluckiest day of the year. Did you know that the olson twins were born on friday the thirteenth. And nathan forrest, the guy who started the kkk. And my friend matt. Anyway, it felt like a friday the 13th. It came right after we got the comparatively weak final phish show, and two people dropped stuff at work tonight(I have never seen anyone drop anything thus far). It is now 11:23 and yet, I feel like doing something -- something that would appropriately honor this holiest of days. Ah, oh well.

So the olympics started tonight as well, seems like kind of a bad choice to start the olympics(which has recieved so much concern lately due to its proximity to terrorist organizations in turkey) on friday the 13th, but sadly, it is not my call to make.

Another unfortunate event to occur today -- massive flooding in florida. But i guess that happens so often it cannot really be considered anything other than coincidence. It kind of makes you wonder why people keep deciding to live there.

So, I got an amp the other day. A sweet fender blues amp. I love it. The only downside is that my terrible electric guitar (it came free with my saxophone) is missing the high e string; it broke off a couple of days ago. But it is still cool, I can compensate. There really is nothing like an electric guitar. Immediately upon setting it up, I felt compelled to play all the great electric guitar songs I could think of, including: purple haze, johnny b. goode, sweet home alabama, crossroads(clapton), this awesome john mclaughlin song i figured out and a bunch of songs i've written recently. I love it, I will have so much fun with this. Now I just need a good electric guitar and I'll be set. I spent about two hours at sam ash when i got the amp trying out a bunch of different guitars and I came to the conclusion that the way I could get the best guitar for the cheapest price would be to steal my friend will's gibson les paul. It is such a terrible situation, he got this unbelievable guitar from his parents for his birthday and he can play a green day song and hot cross buns -- they are about the same level of complexity. Whatever, I am working fridays and saturdays now at san nicola so i'm looking at around $100 a night supposedly. Which means I will be able to afford that new guitar in no time.

Alright, goodnight and of course, good luck. You're gonna need it today.
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